Does Mentoring Presume Weakness?

Challenge:

Your mentee seems hesitant about engaging in a mentoring relationship because of the perception that a need for mentoring presumes weakness.

Self Reflection:

1. What am I feeling?
   • I feel like my mentee is always trying to impress me. It’s nice to celebrate successes. But I’m worried my mentee doesn’t trust me enough to ask for advice when needed.
   • I wish my mentee would reach out to me more often. That’s what I’m here for.
   • Everyone can benefit from mentoring, no matter how accomplished a person is.
2. What do I need to learn about my mentee’s perspective?
   • I wonder if my mentee understands that mentoring is an important and enjoyable part of my job – something we do for every new faculty member in this department.
   • Perhaps this person had a poor experience with a previous mentor that could be affecting his/her unwillingness to engage with me.
3. What outcome(s) do I want?
   • I want my mentees to value mentoring (in general) and feel that I (specifically) can be helpful to them. To do this, we need to identify at least one area in which my mentee needs more development and is excited to work on with me.
   • I need to know when my mentees are struggling. It’s important they understand that part of my role is to help them overcome challenges and rebound from mistakes. This is part of the process of becoming more independent.

Conversation Openers:

• I’m not always someone who takes advice well from others. But, when I have, I’ve really benefited.
• People in my research team have different talents. This is a plus, because I encourage my students and fellows to learn from each other. Let’s take a look at where you excel, and where it might help you to get some more training or mentorship.
• I’ve mentored some incredibly talented scientists, like yourself. You bring a lot of research experience to the relationship. What other parts of your professional development can I help you with?

Tips and Tools:

• Show enthusiasm for mentoring. For example, you might say “Mentoring is something everyone at your training/career stage should take advantage of, and it’s something this department highly values. We are committed to helping all of our early-stage investigators succeed, and mentoring plays a big part in that.”
• Set the expectation that your mentees will come to each mentoring meeting and/or research team meeting ready to share both positive and negative updates on their projects. Emphasize problem solving during the meeting.
• Tell your mentee that, even at your more advanced career stage, you still need mentoring, for example guidance with new technologies, leadership skills, or time management.
• Consider using Individual Development Plans with your mentees. IDPs should include some form of self-assessment. Make it routine to discuss these results with your mentees, including potential strategies for improvement and growth.